More from Matt

Recent exchanges:

Me: "It's important that you do what Teacher Karen and Teacher Cody say. Go inside when they call you and stay with your group."

Matt: "Words, words, words."

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Me, while looking frantically at store #2 for a punchbowl, for the party that was going to start in three hours:
"We don't have time to look at toys today. You need to help mommy."

Matt, pulling up sleeve and looking at nonexistent timepiece: "My watch says I have plenty of time."

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Jim and I, trying to get through Target with our sanity intact: "We can look at trucks later. Right now we're shopping for Halloween decorations."

Matt: "You're not following my rules. You're fired."

Routine maintenance

While waiting for Matt to brush his teeth one day, I began brushing my own. I heard a lot of crashing, and then hammering, from his bathroom.
Me: "I thought you were brushing. What are you doing in there?"
Matt: "Just....some nothing."

CSI

Me, surveying SUV: "What is all over the car?

Matt: "Grass, mud, germs and elbow grease."

Blowhard

Matt: "I burped a big burp. It was 10 inches tall."