Some Assembly Required

Matt's had a busy week...Christmas, then his 6th birthday. He mentioned in the fall that he did not "have enough trains." This is not entirely true, but in his world, it's the way things are. He got several trains for his Thomas set, a box of tracks that includes a "real" crossing ("No buses or trucks. ONLY trains," he says) and a couple of "alternative" Thomas sets by Fisher Price and Mega Blocks. Plus some nice books, a "Toy Story 3" DVD and far too many Legos.

The Lego sets have many, many, many pieces. Occasionally a set will be built that still has pieces remaining, and no one can figure out where they should go. Occasionally, pieces fall off finished projects. The Lego City plane, for instance, has a wing assembly problem. Perhaps, like the Boeing Dreamliner, it should only be allowed to fly 100 miles at a time.

Matt proclaimed this "the best birthday ever."

Boxing Day

The tradition of Boxing Day, I am told, springs from people boxing up food or presents after Christmas and distributing them to the needy. At my house, it springs from the need to take down the tree and box up the ornaments, lights and decorations. Last year, I threw a lot of things last-minute into giant plastic containers (the hallmark of America, yes? Giant plastic tubs?) and then shoved them, curling-team fashion, into the closet under the stairs.

This resulted in several retrieval incidents last year in which I was heard to say, "I AM GOING TO HAVE A COME TO JESUS WITH THIS CLOSET." Well, some cleanliness and godliness visited the closet today. Carry-on luggage is stacked; decoration boxes labeled with Sharpies: artificial tree boxes are put in the corners; Halloween decorations are where they can be easily found come fall. Order reigns in the land. God Bless Us, Everyone.

You Are Here, and Everything Else Is...There

You know how you get frustrated when you lose something, and the amount of time you've spent looking starts to get ridiculous, and you think, "Well, it has to be SOMEHWERE"?

I'm here to tell you no, it doesn't have to be somewhere. It can be nowhere at all.

I'm currently engaging in an "America's Most Wanted"-style search for a pair of shoes - seriously, shoes - and they are not anywhere. How do you lose a pair of shoes?? You might expect to lose shoes in the following scenarios:
--Jail
--Really Fun Party
--Gospel Mission
--Shipwreck
--Tornado

But in Shoreline? No, not so much. I've been looking for a week. I've been through the closet. Through the suitcase they once traveled in. Under the dresser.
WHERE ARE MY GOLDARN SHOES?
Nowhere, that's where.

These items have long ago traveled to Nowhere, Never To Been Seen Again.
--Soundtrack to "The Wedding Singer," on cassette
--Recording of Brahms' Fourth, Marin Alsop conducting
--Matt's sunglasses
--One of our really good wedding photos
--My collection of favorite New Yorker covers

By request, a cat post

Cats are the owners of extraordinary ears. They can hear much higher frequencies than dogs can, and can pinpoint the origin of a sound when as far as 3 feet away from it. Their ability to detect variances in sound helps them identify the type and size of thing making it. This essential for mother cats, who need to hear if their kittens are in trouble if they stray out of sight.

Have you ever been reading or doing some other quiet activity, and noticed your cat suddenly sitting up, twitching its ears and switching its tail? Usually, that means kitty hears a car in the driveway, another animal, or in the spring, one of those giant dimwitted flies that is bumbling through the house. You, human, and your big flappy ears can't hear those things as soon as a cat does. My friend Doug the Artist used to say that if a human couldn't determine any noise, but the cat still seemed alert, that meant the cat was detecting supernatural activity. I think he was kidding.