You know how you get frustrated when you lose something, and the amount of time you've spent looking starts to get ridiculous, and you think, "Well, it has to be SOMEHWERE"?
I'm here to tell you no, it doesn't have to be somewhere. It can be nowhere at all.
I'm currently engaging in an "America's Most Wanted"-style search for a pair of shoes - seriously, shoes - and they are not anywhere. How do you lose a pair of shoes?? You might expect to lose shoes in the following scenarios:
--Jail
--Really Fun Party
--Gospel Mission
--Shipwreck
--Tornado
But in Shoreline? No, not so much. I've been looking for a week. I've been through the closet. Through the suitcase they once traveled in. Under the dresser.
WHERE ARE MY GOLDARN SHOES?
Nowhere, that's where.
These items have long ago traveled to Nowhere, Never To Been Seen Again.
--Soundtrack to "The Wedding Singer," on cassette
--Recording of Brahms' Fourth, Marin Alsop conducting
--Matt's sunglasses
--One of our really good wedding photos
--My collection of favorite New Yorker covers
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