Yes, Matthias has personality.

About carrying his juice cup on a long trip: "I have a cup holder on my backpack. It's a cup holder with extra precision."

About wearing his John Deere sweatshirt to Bob and Linda's (who bought him the shirt): "They'll be John Deere surprised!"

After making a disgruntled face and having Mommy and Daddy show off their own disgruntled faces: "Nana's disgruntled face is better than ours."

Merry, silly, artistic

We recently had the annual Taking of the Holiday Photo by Matt Kreamer. You know how the royal family has certain things provided by certain companies through the centuries? The queen gives what's called a royal warrant for these things. We have given one to Uncle Kreamo for his invaluable service in this area. He makes Matt pay attention, and makes me look how I imagine myself to be, which is not at all how I usually look in photographs. Uncanny!

Last year, I told him, "you make people look like they really are."

He said, "Yeah, but who wants that?"

Call of the Wild

The moment all indoor-pet owners dread happened on Saturday....NoNo got outside. Matt had been issuing me my "instructions" ("Wear your seatbelt. Drive carefully. If there's a lot of traffic, drive on the highway, not on the freeway.") in the doorway as I drove away, and he didn't shut the door all the way. It swung back open, and NoNo, who had been lurking nearby (as she has been lately) wandered outside. When Jim came upstairs, he saw the open door. Finding we were missing a pet, he grabbed shoes and ran outside. And there was NoNo. She came right back in. Phew.

She's been out three times in the past 14 years. Each time was not this easily resolved. When NoNo gets outside, she goes all Jungle Cat. Her pupils dilate to the size of quarters, her fur gets all bristly and she growls. She forgets she ever knew humans and that she ever lived inside. She goes looking for gazelles at the watering hole. The sick baby elephant. The condor that fell out of its nest. If you've watched ANY wildlife shows, you know small wild cats are hard to catch. She may have a small brain, but she's got quick feet. And a nasty scratch when you wrangle her to bring her back in. The minute she gets in, she looks around with an expression of "Hey, cool! Do I know you?" and wanders away. Serif knows there is nothing outside worth seeing, and merely looks disappointed that The Other Cat returned.

Well!

Matt and I were putting away clothes in his dresser, and he was taking unusual care with his socks and underwear. Holding up one pair, he said, "I can't wear this underwear today. This is just for parties."

He's right!

Matt asked for something he wasn't supposed to have, and Jim said no.
Matt's reply: "No is a very bad word."

More from Matt

Recent exchanges:

Me: "It's important that you do what Teacher Karen and Teacher Cody say. Go inside when they call you and stay with your group."

Matt: "Words, words, words."

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Me, while looking frantically at store #2 for a punchbowl, for the party that was going to start in three hours:
"We don't have time to look at toys today. You need to help mommy."

Matt, pulling up sleeve and looking at nonexistent timepiece: "My watch says I have plenty of time."

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Jim and I, trying to get through Target with our sanity intact: "We can look at trucks later. Right now we're shopping for Halloween decorations."

Matt: "You're not following my rules. You're fired."

Routine maintenance

While waiting for Matt to brush his teeth one day, I began brushing my own. I heard a lot of crashing, and then hammering, from his bathroom.
Me: "I thought you were brushing. What are you doing in there?"
Matt: "Just....some nothing."

CSI

Me, surveying SUV: "What is all over the car?

Matt: "Grass, mud, germs and elbow grease."

Blowhard

Matt: "I burped a big burp. It was 10 inches tall."

Just askin'

Matt, examining his navel: "What's in my belly button? Old stuff?"

Dumb and dumber

Tuesday was kind of a drag.
I took Monday off, and that threw me off...completely.
Consider the following chain of events:
I drive to my usual parking spot on top of the old Troy Laundry building. I pay for 10 hours of parking. As I walk away, I realize:
WAIT! It's 8:30. You have a meeting at 12:30. Why did you prepay for 10 hours??!?
Sigh.
I walk to the side entrance of the office, and get my bag stuck in the turnstile. Upon backing out, I can't reswipe my card, because it "expired" for this session. (Great security tactic - lock your employees out.) I hike around the block to the main turnstile, where the security guard lets me know she saw the whole thing on video and I should have just pushed the buzzer for help.
"Gee, I didn't want to be embarrassed," I mutter.
I then get to my desk, at last, fire up my computer, and find I forgot to put a couple of stories on the story plan, resulting in two hysterical e-mails and one Extremely Disapproving Look.
That happy hour across from The Times?
Looking pretty good about noon.

Spiders!

It's fall in the great Puget Sound Region, which means nice days and less-crunchy grass...and spiders. Lots of 'em. They were partying indoors, then they decided there might be more food and less of the vacuum cleaner outdoors. An industrious guy built a kind of small web on the kitchen window, and caught two big bugs right away. One was a lacewing, a beneficial bug that was probably going to eat the APHIDS ON MY ROSES, but oh well. This has made the spider smug; he quickly went to work on enlarging his web, and between yesterday morning and evening he created a ginormous circular web that covers half the window. He has yet to catch anything, though. I think even the dumbest bug could see that.

Meanwhile, the spider outside my office window is still at it, on week three. I questioned why he chose a third-floor window with no shelter from the wind or lights to attract bugs - he didn't answer - but I see he caught something a few days ago. How long do spiders live? How long will he be there? Will a bird get him? Will he die and then just fall off? Do I have to witness this?

Golf, anyone?

One recent Saturday morning, Jim asked Matt, "What are we going to do today?"
Matt: "I need to practice my golf skills."
Jim/Mel: "WHAT?"
Matt: "I need a club and a ball."

Ew.

I know that bugs have a purpose in our world, but there are some I just don't understand.
Like roaches. Next to yellow jackets, they have to be the most repulsive creatures ON EARTH. (More repulsive than that spider that ate the bird in Australia. Yes. Really.)

For some reason (Dust? Mold? Like the company?) they live in our newsroom. They have grown to the size of small mice and are easy to spot skittering around the carpet. One of the many things I hate about roaches is that HORRIBLE SOUND they make when they walk. Ugh. As if that were not bad enough, we now have flying roaches. One was spotted last week that was the size of a hummingbird, if not larger, whizzing through the newsroom. It disappeared from the news desk area briefly, then resurfaced in new media, judging from the shriek from that side of the room.

I think I'll start wearing a helmet to work. Or carrying a very large flyswatter. You've been warned.

Lucky day

I like to think we make our own luck, but sometimes some luck just comes along and jumps in your pocket. I like that, too.

Today I had a little of that.

In the car, I said, "Woohoo! Today is my lucky day."

Matt said, "No, woohoo it's my lucky day. Your lucky day is in September."

Me: "Can we share a lucky day?"

Matt: "No. You can't share a lucky day."

He's right. So I'm keeping it all to myself.

Ear today

This happened a while ago, but I'm still excited about it, so here you go. (WARNING: INFORMATION ABOUT THE INSIDE OF MY EAR)

When we flew home from Hawaii, my ears popped open and closed several times, and the left one just stayed closed. This got irritating. It was like having been in a submarine and shot somebody, and now I was deaf in one ear. It also cut down significantly on eavesdropping. I could hear myself chew. I could hear my singing. EWWWW.

After a month, I wondered if I oughta have someone take a look. (OK, insert lecturing here. Yes, I should have gone sooner.)

My internist said I may have a ruptured eardrum, so he packed me off to an ear-nose-throat specialist (as if I didn't see enough of that kind of practitioner from birth-grade school). The doc he referred me to, Dr. Lin, must be new and building a practice, or just lonely, because she and her staff were INCREDIBLY glad to see me. I felt like I should present them with something much more dramatic. An ear parasite I picked up in the Peace Corps, or the like. All I had, sadly, was a truckload of compacted wax. Dr. Lin went at it with a tiny vacuum, and after two rounds - success. The skies parted, angels sang, the crowd stood as one and cheered. I was cured! I felt at least 150% better. I wasn't dizzy, there was no pressure, my jaw ligaments were silent, andI could hear in surround sound. She showed me part of what she took out, and it was not pretty. It was hideous. I think some of my brain (badly needed) may have been in there. It is amazing how much stuff can fit in your ear.

These little things are the miracles of modern medicine: cheap, painless, curative. I was a whole new person. I nearly skipped. Copy editors don't skip. Dr. Lin recommended having an ear cleaning once a year. I felt so good, why not?

10-4

As we were driving home from Everett, Matt noticed rain on the windshield.
Matt: "Look! It's raining!"
Me: "You might have to play inside for a while."
Matt: "We'll have to scrub the mission."

Pardon me while I rant

Last night, Jim and I (adults, at least most of the time) went to see "Public Enemies," about John Dillinger and his pals and their heyday robbing banks before the mob took over and ruined everything (!) .

What caught my eye - and raised my eyebrow a foot - was a man who brought a little boy about Matt's age, say 4 or 5, with him. I was wondering, while also contemplating leaping over my seat back and chewing him out, what his thought process was before coming to the movie. (Assuming he had such a process, of course, which may be incorrect.)

--"Hey, here's a movie about gangsters. They usually end up dead. I'll bring my son."
--"Hey, here's an R-rated movie with a guy with a machine gun on the poster. I'll bring my son."
--"Hey, they made a movie about John Dillinger, who I believe hung around with people who were kind of crazy, and was shot to death on a Chicago sidewalk. I'll bring my son."

One of those must have been the winner, because there he was. What a jerk. I sat there and worried about the little boy. Not what I pay for when I go to the movies. Stupidity I can get for free out on the street.

Where the hell are we going?

We're taking Grandma Ann back home and we're meeting Jim's brother Steve halfway there in Tri-Cities.

Matthias thought we were driving all the way to Ontario until we were around the breakfast table. We explained to him that, no, we are actually just going to the Tri-Cities.

"We're going to the Tri-Sillies?" Matthias asked.

"No," Melissa said. "The Tri-Cities."

"Oh, we're going to the Dry-Cities?" Matthias asked.

Well, yes, yes we are.

Don't go there

Matt was in the tub last night, and started scrounging around in his left armpit.
Against my better judgment, I asked, "What are you doing?"
He said, "Look what I found in my armpit!"
It was an alarmingly long piece of string.
I said, "How did a piece of string get in your armpit?"
Matt: "Oh, it was from dinner."

Cheeseburgers in Paradise

We're back at last from Oahu...5 fabulous days on Waikiki.

Matt was extremely good on the plane both ways and had a better time than, well, most people on the island. He befriended people on the beach, said hi to everyone in the elevators, shook hands with the waiters and stopped at every waterfall and pond (of which there are many in Honolulu. Trust me).

It's just so weird to Northwesterners to be able to go into the ocean, day or night, and be at no risk of hypothermia, riptides, undertow, rolling driftwood, horses, dogs, etc. Hey, this could catch on!!

Information society

Yesterday, I asked Matt:
--what he did at preschool ("wellllll, I played trains." Why do I ask?)
--what the story was ("an exercise book!")
--and who the VIP was. The VIP always gets to share something from home.
I asked Matt what she shared, and he said, "Nothing. But she brought a book. And it was about sharks. Annnnnd, oh yes, some shark teeth."
So really, nothing.

Happy Mother's Day

Thanks to a NYT reader for posting this last night:

What I would love for Mother’s Day?
*happiness, health, peace, security of every kind for every mother and her family
* all the sons and daughters in the military serving in Iraq and Afghanistan to be home — permanently.
* national health care so no mother has to worry about preventive or corrective health care for their families or themselves
* a safe, unpolluted environment for our children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren
* jobs for mothers who need to work because of financial need (although I would rather have it that mothers never had to work unless they chose to do so)
* safe, affordable day care for mothers who work I could go on and on…..

A blessed day to all mothers!

Skills?

Matt likes to play a game where he sneaks up on you...except the "sneak" part isn't very clear. (He tells you where you'll sit so he can surprise you.)
Today, he put his little stuffed penguin on the bed and said, "Let's sneak up on penguin!"
I said, "What will you do to him? Scare him?"
Matt: "No, take his wallet."

Shock and awe

The family went to see Disney's "earth" yesterday. A great film! It's just like those "Disney TRUE LIFE ADVENTURES" you used to watch in grade school, with the Himalayas and the rain forest and the deserts and that cool time-lapse photography where all the trees bloom at once.

One of the highlights is a dramatic night sequence filmed during a lightning storm in the Kalahari desert - a herd of exhausted elephants has finally found water after 2 weeks on the move, but they arrive at the watering hole only to find a pride of lions...that is willing to share...for a while.

And the great white shark footage reinforces my desire to never go in the ocean. At all. Ever. For any reason.

Matt insisted on bringing a book with him, even after I told him it was dark in the movie and he wouldn't be able to see. Still, Harry the dog is a favorite story. And it was easier to carry along then the animal friends - penguin, Snoopy and rabbit. (Snoopy rattles. &^%$##)

Civic participation

Shoreline's new city hall is under construction. Matt is very interested in the progress, and he knows that will be where the mayor's office is.

Today, as we passed the building site, he said, "I would like to have a conversation with the mayor."
Me: "What about?"
Matt: "Just a few little things. A little conversation."

And now, a special message from our sponsor...

Matthias saw me posting a blog item and asked me specifically to put out this message:

He dressed himself this morning with his sweater, pants and socks all facing the right direction. Now if only they were matching.

Quite a virus...

Young Matthias developed a bad cold in the past couple of days. (Which means we can expect a cold in the next couple of days.)

He came into our bedroom this morning and said, "I've got the coughings and sneezings and the burpings and the hiccuppings."

WTH?

The Davis family celebrated Easter by having brunch on South Lake Union. Matthias was interested in the air taxi services that takes off and lands from the lake. As one plane was taking off, he said, loudly, "Where the hell is that plane going?"

Stimulus plan?

Matt informed Jim the other day, "I have 20 things, but I don't have 21 things."

There is no joy in Mudville

The last issue of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer landed on my doorstep today.

It's a sad day for those 170 journalists' comrades, for Seattle, for a free and diverse press. Hearst, long a symbol of American newspapering, chose to forget its legacy and treat its employees like dirt.

It is not a graceful departure.

But after the announcement earlier in the winter that the P-I would close "no earlier than March 18 and no later than April 1," after the shredders arrived in the newsroom, after the tours of the giant P-I globe, the staffers stuck it out.

They put out a newspaper every day.

Until today.

It would be a terrible thing for any city for the dominant paper to go under,
because that’s who does the bulk of the serious reporting. Places like us would
spring up but they wouldn’t be nearly as big. We can tweak the papers and
compete with them, but we can’t replace them.

-- Joel Kramer, former editor/publisher, Star Tribune,
now with MinnPost.com

Too good to be true!!

Ever have such a super day, you couldn't believe it?

For example:
1) Our accountant said last week we owed money to the IRS. It was a much smaller amount than last year, so we were relatively happy with that. The accountant told us today she found something else we can deduct, so we get a REFUND. What are the odds?

2) I got a ginormous bill from a laboratory for a blood test my doctor sent in. The insurance company was stumped. Turns out, the hospital billed the wrong insurance, which denied the claim. That's $300 I don't have to pay.

Makes me think I should buy a lottery ticket. (Or, be ready for something really terrible to happen to make all this cosmically "even.") I'm going with the lucky vibe.

Under construction

Matt and I worked outside today...as I worked on the weeds and the pruning, he announced he was building a community center and planting popcorn flowers "and other food plants." Now that's what I call sustainability.

It's great to be popular

Matt is usually the hands-down winner when it comes to mail...every holiday brings cards, letters and packages.
We passed the FedEx truck on the way back from the grocery store (do I live there? Yeesh) and he pointed out the truck and said, "Maybe we are getting a package at our house."
I asked, "Are you expecting something?"
He said, "Why yes, yes I am."

The Rocky Mountain News, 1859-2009

Today was the final edition of the Rocky Mountain News, less than 2 months shy of its 150th anniversary. 4 Pulitzers in a decade. Lots of talented people. All gone in a day.
Already happened in Madison, Wis.; on the way in Detroit and Seattle.

From the Rocky's front page today:
"We part in sorrow because we know so much lies ahead that will be worth telling and we will not be there to do so."

Garden of delights

We attended the NW Flower & Garden Show, supposedly in its VERY LAST YEAR. I read somewhere the company that puts it on has had 35 inquiries about buying it, but many signs at the show read "last year." Which is sad, because how can you NOT have a garden show in a major city in the Pacific Northwest? It'd be like not selling umbrellas or recycling containers (both of which were for sale at the show).

A definite highlight was a sale by Lucca, the super-swanky garden statuary store (mentioned often in the New York Times). All items were marked down from wholesale. They had a wee booth that was bursting with people. I had to dodge elbows to get to the gargoyles. I was sorely tempted to buy either a gargoyle ($11) or a large St. Francis with bird feeder ($54).
I think I will kick myself now.

I went home with a gift for my mom and a small heather plant, a participant in the Great Experiment that is the barren strip next to the driveway. Stay tuned.

Room for improvement

Jim painted our bedroom over the weekend, changing it from dull white to a soothing sage/taupe. The color is called "Remember the Alamo," which I don't understand because the Alamo is not sage. As far as I know, anyway.

He had to do three coats but the end result is definitely worth it. The contractors who did the work before the house was sold did a terribly sloppy job...I can't paint worth beans but I could do a better job!! And they didn't clean up their paint spatters, either. Have some pride in your work, people. Now we have twice the paint to clean up.

Bowled over

Today's field trip was to our neighboorhood bowling alley...also the site of our friendly neighborhood post office. How cool is that? The ladies who run the place love Matt and sometimes let him put mail in the post office boxes. (Any postal inspectors reading, avert your eyes. Worry about those carriers who hoard mail.)

The kids got Velcro shoes and most were very excited about the game. Matt yelled "I won!" every time he knocked any pins over. A bowling addict, I rolled a few frames when the kids wandered off in search of snacks and video games and whatnot. After the game, we sat at the snack counter and Matt had some milk and a hot dog and we watched "Scooby-Doo" and "Tom & Jerry" (much uproarious laughter by Matt at that one). Nothing like killing a morning at the bowling alley.

About noon, as we were leaving, we saw a couple of guys drinking pints and bowling. I guess it's 5 o'clock somewhere, as they say in Margaritaville.

Lucky numbers

Yay! Our new house numbers are up. They came all the way from Kentucky and it took four humans to get them up properly. Three grownups and one preschooler, that is! I think they match nicely with the porchlight and give the front some pizazz. And they have that all-important Arts and Crafts look.

Life is good.

Volunteer fireman

Matt's preschool took a trip to the Shoreline Fire Safety Station recently. It has little turnouts for the kids, a little fire pole they can slide down, all kinds of fire trucks to play with and educational exhibits. The kids watched a safety video and watched a cool dollhouse that fills up with smoke when one of the dolls neglects a pot on the stove.

Matt enjoyed it all, of course, except when the firefighter demonstrated a real smoke alarm. Matt hates, hates, hates those things because they're so loud. He clapped his hands to his ears and looked around frantically for me. I was holding up the counter at the side of the room, and had to wave to him over all the kids reassuringly. He was clearly thinking about bolting. I guess we won't have any problem teaching him to leave the house immediately in case of an emergency!!

At the end of the presentation, the instructor asked what the kids' favorite part of the video was, and if they had any questions. After one girl shared her favorite part, Matt raised his hand and said, "I have some things I need to tell you." The other moms cracked up, but I knew what was coming....the other kids got up and wandered away as Matt launched into a full-blown narrative stream about all his fire trucks at home and what they did and their various ailments. Thankfully, folks in the fire service are great!

Oops

One of Matt's treasured photos of construction equipment was accidentally scooped up and tossed out with the mail...he was quite distraught until we found it in the recycling can.

"Mommy," he said, "that's not appropriate. Pictures are not made of recycling."

Oh, heck no.

As if things weren't bad enough, now we have a peanut-butter safety scandal.

This can't be happening.

Peanut butter is the elixir of life. It's probably in Genesis somewhere. Those little jars in King Tut's tomb? Likely had some. And Columbus didn't just drop by for spice, you know. Most of the family loves it, and say what you will about my gene pool, but its carriers hang around a reeeeallly long time. The reaper had to wait 101 years for Great Aunt Katherine, and it was sent back down the road crying by Grandpa.

The Condiment of Dorian Gray, you might say.

Kill my industry,

kill my 401(k),

kill my metabolism,

but you can have my peanut butter when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

Well, it is!

Matt recently told Jim: "Spice is the spice of life."

The Venetian has several cool restaurants/bars.

We sat a while in Aquaknox, then enjoyed the life-size (?) eggs at David Burke, which is described as

"uber chic and ultra modern dining." I don't know if anyone goes inside, because they're too busy having photos taken with Mr. Dumpty.